Coming from someone who has dealt with anxiety, it feels like a topic that most people shy away from. The words “anxiety” and “anxious” are often overused and typically are used very casually. The truth is that anxiety is a real problem for some people and it’s usually way more than just occasional nerves before a big presentation or intimidating meeting. I thought I’d devote today’s post to the topic because the holidays tend to bring anxiety to the surface for many anxiety sufferers.
According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns and they may opt to avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness or a rapid heartbeat.
Anxiety has many forms and can show up daily or situationally. I believe that anxiety comes in a spectrum. That is, an anxiety attack can be small and manageable or it can totally take over your body to where you completely shut down mentally. Also on that spectrum is your environment and events. Sometimes anxiety only shows up at certain times, triggered by an event or the preparation for an upcoming event. No matter where an anxiety sufferer falls on the spectrum, it can be incredibly overwhelming, however it does not have to be a life sentence and there are many ways to deal with it. {Though I often jokingly say I should have gone to med school instead of law school, I did not. I am not a mental health professional. I do not have the educational background that a psychologist or therapist does. I am just a regular girl who has dealt with anxiety and has spent some time researching its effects and how to cope. If you or someone you know are suffering from anxiety, I highly recommend seeking out a professional in your area. Talking to someone can be extremely helpful.}
My anxiety is mostly situational and I have learned coping mechanisms for dealing with it when it does show up. I think the worst part of it for me is feeling misunderstood. Since most people do not really understand anxiety and only know it as the overused word I described above, dealing with anxiety can feel very isolating and lonely. And even if we try to explain what we are feeling, we are often characterized as weak or overreacting. But we are not overreacting and we are not weak. We simply were born with this little trait and we can’t help that. But we can deal with it and work through it as best we can. We do not have to let anxiety control our lives or ruin our days.
I’ve discovered that a method called “grounding” can sometimes help when you feel anxiety creeping in. It’s quick, easy, requires nothing but you and your mind and you can do it anywhere. A grounding exercise looks like this: sit down, find 5 things you can see and take a few moments to think about that object or person’s qualities. For example, if you see a notepad, what color is it? how big is it? is it lined or unlined? Do this for 5 things. Next, find 4 things you can touch. If you see a water bottle, what does it feel like? is it cold? room temperature? can you squeeze it? Continue on with 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and lastly, 1 thing you can taste. Often, you can stop the exercise after going through the 4 things you can touch portion. But sometimes it’s necessary to go through the exercise in its entirety. Grounding is a useful tool when you feel like you have lost control of your surroundings and it helps bring yourself back into the moment by calming your mind and clearing any overwhelming thoughts.
If you are interested in delving a bit deeper into learning about and overcoming anxiety, I’ve stumbled upon a few self-help books over the past few years that I have found pretty helpful in dealing with anxiety.
Declutter Your Mind by S.J. Scott and Barrie Davenport, which you can check out here, https://www.amazon.com/Declutter-Your-Mind-Worrying-Eliminate/dp/1535575085/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496185061&sr=1-11&keywords=anxiety&linkCode=sl1&tag=rashpage-20&linkId=982c990ce03c6a65fd3e74fe365fbe5f focuses on teaching mindfulness techniques to help you learn how to be present in the moment and take control of your thought process. I know we have all heard about how helpful it can be to declutter our closets and living spaces and I like this book because it applies that same philosophy to our mental spaces, making us aware of how negative and anxious thoughts can take up valuable mental real estate.
Dare by Barry McDonagh, as linked up here, https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496185061&sr=1-4&keywords=anxiety&linkCode=sl1&tag=rashpage-20&linkId=db20b40f183d20b26b6ba2ecb728463d is another good one. This book implements the idea that you should tackle the problem head on, face those anxious thoughts and learn how to ignore or cope with them. The idea is that the readers are to “dare” anxiety to do its worst. My favorite feature of this book is that it comes with a free app and audiobook to use for relaxation and anxiety relief.
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine Aron, PhD, which you can find here, https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Thrive-Overwhelms/dp/0553062182/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1496185299&sr=8-1&keywords=the+highly+sensitive+person&linkCode=sl1&tag=rashpage-20&linkId=80aacf1e6467d8f86d786e78e47da3da is especially insightful because the author herself identifies as a highly sensitive person. The book is designed to help the reader recognize certain traits and qualities and provides tips for how to understand those traits and qualities in order to improve their life and personal relationships.
Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick by David Carbonell can be found here https://www.amazon.com/Panic-Attacks-Workbook-Program-Beating/dp/1569754152/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=sl1&tag=rashpage-20&linkId=160fd9620b6859e721bcbc09cdd64b11 Truth be told, I love a good workbook. There is something healing and helpful about filling out worksheets {shout-out to our fifth-grade homework assignments, am I right?!!} and this book has lots of them. The author shares his extensive clinical research to help explain panic attacks and how to break the cycle of anxious responses leading to them. The book includes charts and worksheets to help you literally work through recovery.
Buying these books will never totally cure those of us suffering from anxiety because it’s an incurable issue that tends to hang around forever. However, I have learned a lot reading these books and if nothing else, it is incredibly helpful to feel validated and to know that we are not alone and we are understood by the authors. I highly recommend trying at least one of these out. And if you do, please be sure to report back to me and let me know what you think!
Question of the Day: Do you suffer from anxiety or experience bouts of anxious moments? Do you have any books or tools to help get you through it?
Leave a Reply